Kenji Avery: A Birth Story

Prologue: Hello, ER!

“Every pregnancy is different.” This is a phrase that I’ve heard too many times but something I’ve proven the hard way. With Yui, I had a chill pregnancy and labor which I wrote about in my old blog. I was hoping to have the same experience this time but every pregnancy is different and things have a tendency to not go as planned.

On my 31st week, I experienced severe stomach pain and had to rush to the Emergency Room which turned into an overnight stay in the Delivery Room where they monitored Kenji’s heartbeat while waiting for my diagnosis. It turned out to be gastroenteritis and I was discharged the next day. However, I started to have high blood pressure upon discharge which continued on to the weekend.

Chapter 1: Preeclampsia and IUGR

Tuesday of my 32nd week, I experienced unusual frequent and painful contractions which I thought would stop after a nap. However, after I took a nap, I noticed bleeding. So for the second time in just a week, I was in the E.R. They immediately rushed me to the Delivery Room for monitoring since the preeclampsia is consistent and my BP is going up.

Late in the afternoon, they did an ultrasound and although I was 32 weeks, the baby was found out to be very small due to IUGR or Intrauterine Growth Restriction and was only the size of a 29 weeker fetus. My OB immediately gave me steroids to speed up his lung development and some other meds that I lost track/count of.

Chapter 2: Monitoring, Monitoring and More Monitoring

I was hooked in the monitors again and was placed in the DR High Risk facility, without any communication to the family and the outside world. It was a night of monitoring and more monitoring. I literally didn’t know what’s going to happen to us and I think that anxiety might have added to my high BP. Lol. I would sometimes drift to sleep only to wake up with a commotion of the resident doctors as they see Kenji’s heart slow down then recover. There were times when they would shake my tummy and say, “mommy, gisingin lang natin si baby ha” and I’m like, “whuttt???” At one point, I asked the resident, “doc, uuwi pa ba kami?”

Chapter 3: The ‘No Choice’

Early Wednesday morning, I started bleeding again and was dilating but Kenji’s heart kept fluctuating and was taking a longer time to recover. When the OB arrived, she dropped the bomb to us. She said we had to choose at that point because I already have severe preeclampsia and although I’m 3cm dilated, the baby can’t wait for normal labor to progress anymore because he’s having a really hard time inside. Our option is to “terminate the pregnancy” or emergency caesarean section. Any further delay might be fatal to the both of us. So she asked, “what’s your decision?”

As if may choice talaga dun no? T_T

So in a matter of minutes, I was wheeled to the Operating Room. It was a whirlwind of CS activities and after a while I heard, “Baby out! Baby out!” after they saw that he had a cord coil, which is probably what’s causing his heart rate to fall. I heard a faint cry then they showed him to me and brought him to the Neonatal ICU.

Chapter 4: NICU Days and Nights

At 1:12PM on that fated Wednesday, Kenji Avery was born! Because of the IUGR, he only weighed 907 grams and falls on the Extremely Low Birth Weight preemie group. With this, he had to stay in the NICU so that he can be monitored closely. He needs to gain weight and reach the 1.8kg target weight before he can come home.

Epilogue: Preemie Strong

For 55 days, the NICU became our home. We’re just glad that Kenji, being our little warrior, didn’t have any major complications and mostly just stayed to gain the desired weight. It is a journey of roller coaster emotions, where time both went by so fast and slowed down during the past 2 months.

Today is supposed to be his original due date but instead of celebrating his birth, we will be celebrating 8 weeks of premature life in the NICU and awaiting his discharge. Can’t wait to see this little fighter come home.

We all have a fighter in us. Preemies just have a little bit more.

An open letter to 21-year-old me

Hey Ens,

Congratulations on landing your first job! I know you’re both excited and nervous to start this new journey. Don’t worry, that’s perfectly fine and it’s okay to feel nervous. It is a corporate world out there anyways. It CAN be a scary world, but don’t be. You’ll be fine.

There will be days ahead that will drive you crazy yet there will be much more that will bring so much joy. Fifteen years into the future, you will find yourself still here and you might wonder how you stayed that long. You will change a lot – emotionally and physically. Well, the bangs stay at least? 😂

There will be tears, frustrations, lots of lessons learned along the way and I’m here to tell you that you’ll jump through all that hurdle. You might not know everything now but I will try to help.

Here are 15 things I learned through my 15 years in this journey:

1. Every day is a learning moment

As they say, “you learn something new every day.” No matter how old or experienced you are, there will always be something you do not know. Always keep an open mind for learning. Talk to people, ask people, learn from everyone.

2. Priorities change

There will be moments that you will want to reach for the moon and stars and prioritize your career. But there will be times when you want to focus on yourself or your family. Both are perfectly okay. Priorities change over time. You will learn how to identify your priorities. You will learn when to identify your priorities as well. What’s important is to tell your supervisor and teammates to set expectations. Which brings me to the next point.

3. Communication is the key

People especially your supervisors are not mind readers. For them to know what you want to do and what your priorities are, you need to tell them. You want a different role? Say it. You need to stay with your sick family? Tell them. You need to step out for an hour to exercise once a week? Let them know. Don’t fret, you’re not being a burden, you are actually helping them make their lives easier by planning ahead.

4. Learn to say No. How to say No.

One of the things I learned is that it is okay to say No. If it doesn’t align with your priorities, you can decline. If someone is asking you to do something you’re not comfortable with, just say it. No need to explain. It’s your right.

5. Work-Life balance is BS.

You will hear about this “work-life balance” phenomenon a lot of times. People will try to achieve this balance or offer tips to achieve this. It’s going to be hard if that is your goal because work-life balance is BS. If you will try to balance, there will always be a “battle” or you will need to always choose between the two. Then I learned about “work-life integration.” This way, you can integrate what you want to do personally with work. Want travel? You will get it here. Want to stay healthy and follow your passion? Join different groups or talk to like-minded people at work.

6. Find a mentor

This is important to help you get by and have someone who can give you tips and tricks to stay sane. A mentor can help you when you are at your lowest and provide an objective perspective on things. Your mentor can help you with your career growth as well.

7. Networking is not just for earning lots of moolah. It is an essential skill

Over the course of time, you will meet a lot of people. Get to know them and establish a relationship, you’ll never know when you’ll meet them again and need some help from them.

8. Do not burn bridges

In line with #7, avoid burning bridges. You’ll never know when you’ll need someone or work with someone you’ve had a conflict with. We are working professionals so handle differences professionally as well.

9. It is okay to feel demotivated

We are humans. Truly human. It is okay to feel unengaged or demotivated at times. The important thing is to identify why you’re feeling this and then work on improving your mood. Talk to someone (your mentor or a friend), relax or find a diversion.

10. Know your non-negotiables

Like your priorities, your non-negotiables may change over time. Know what these are and communicate them so that your supervisor and team knows.

11. When tired, rest.

Get a vacation. Take some time off. Everybody needs time to recuperate and find their happiness. When things get rough and you get tired, take a rest.

12. Opportunities are and can be created. Go for it!

There will be times when opportunities will knock on your door. If it does, that’s great! There will also be times when you need to create your opportunities. If you are open with your preferences, your supervisor might just carve out something for you. Remember that you are the sailor of your own boat.

13. You are important. Make yourself heard.

No matter what role you’re in, no role is too small not to be heard. Speak up and ask questions. It will take you places you’ve never imagined and learn things you never existed.

14. Choose your battles

You will meet challenging people and clash with some values and priorities, but remember that each of us is unique. Some battles are worth fighting for and some are just not worth all the stress. If you find yourself in full gear mode, ask yourself: “Is it a battle or is it the war?”

15. Tomorrow is another day

Probably one of my mantra that kept me sane all these years. When things get tough, remember that This, too, shall pass and that tomorrow is another day.

Japan Food Trip: Osaka and Kyoto

There are plenty of good reasons to go to Japan and exploring authentic Japanese food is definitely one of them! Our Spring trip took us to Japan’s Kansai Region and we were able to taste some of the amazing food from Osaka, aptly called tenka no daidokoro (‘the country’s kitchen’), as well as Kyoto and Nara. Our food trip was based on what we wanted to try at that moment so it would usually go like this:

Mommy Bunny: “What do you want to eat?”

Daddy Bunny: “omurice”

Mommy Bunny: “Okay” *opens Google and searches for “omurice nearby”*

We dined at some hole in the wall restaurants, food court at the mall, and some apparently popular places during our week-long trip. We’ve barely just touched (or ate) the tip of the iceberg but here are some of the oishī food that we tried.

Osaka Mint Bureau Cherry Blossom festival

Osaka Mint Bureau Cherry Blossom festival

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Yumeyakata: Kyoto Kimono Rental and Location Shoot

Konnichiwa! The Travelling Bunchies just came from a week-long trip in Japan to celebrate Yui’s 9th birthday. The highlight of the trip was celebrating her actual birthday exploring Kyoto in kimonos. I’ve always imagined how it might feel to wear a kimono and since we wanted to try something special for her birthday, I thought it would be the best time to try this experience. And boy, I’m glad that we did! It was such a surreal experience and one thing that will definitely be carved in our family memory bank.


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5 Lessons I Learned from Todome No Kiss

Japan’s winter drama, Todome No Kiss or Kiss That Kills (english title), concluded with its 10th episode last week.

“The story is about Otaro Dojima (Kento Yamazaki, my loves) who works as a popular host under name Eight. Because of a past incident, he believes that love makes people unhappy. He now only pursues money and power.

A mysterious woman appears in front of Otaro Dojima. The mysterious woman has a pale face with red lips. She kisses him and he dies, but the next moment he regains consciousness. He realizes he is now 7 days in the past. The mysterious woman also follows him. Due to her kiss, Otaro Dojima dies and goes back to the past over and over again.” – from Wikipedia and Asianwiki

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Dear Diary: Our Little Time Capsule

When Yui was still a baby, I had a small notebook that I kept as a “Yui journal” where I write short letters to her. I figured it will be fun for her to read the journal when she grows up. And surely, she did! Few years back, when I found that first notebook while cleaning up, I gave it to her and she loved reading the letters. She even made them her bedtime stories and reads the letters before going to sleep.

Here’s the first entry that I had when she was just five months old:

First letter for baby Yui

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UST HS Batch 98: 20th Reunion

About a year ago, our batch high school student council president published a poll to set a date for our batch reunion since 2018 marks 20 years after we graduated high school. When I answered the survey, scenes from the movie “Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion” entered my mind. I wondered how it will feel to go to the reunion and if someone will say, “We invented post-its!”

Fast forward to 2018, our dedicated batchmates who organized the event gathered a hundred or so of our batch for the reunion. It was such a memorable night! 😍

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Tales of a Commuter: A Day in the Life

People close to me knows that I prefer commuting to work rather than drive. I’ve spent some number of years driving to and from work but it eventually got the better of me especially with the daily EDSA traffic ranging from bad to forever. I’m an advocate of commuting mainly due to more personal benefits:

  1. It allows me to work while in transit (read my e-mails and join conference calls) which is one thing that I can’t do if I drive (yes I can join calls but it gets distracting)
  2. I get some form of exercise. For someone who spend long hours sitting in front of a desk, going up and down the MRT stairs is the closest I can get to a cardio routine.
  3. One less car to add to EDSA traffic
  4. Less pollution
  5. More time for Kdrama, Jdorama and “research”

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Our Little Artist

As the saying goes, “Every child is an artist.” If we observe our children, all of them doodles and draws as soon as they learn how to use a pencil or a crayon. Even with a lot of notebooks, sketch pads and loose paper, children would sometimes draw and paint on walls, tables or anything that resembles a canvass. As parents, we would want to encourage our little ones to express themselves through various medium of art.

One of the bonding moments of daddy and Yui is to paint. Apart from enhancing her drawing and painting skills, it is also a way for them to have some quality time. Normally, Yui would start and paint whatever she feels at the moment, then daddy would do the finishing touches. Here are some of the paintings that they have completed so far. Sharing it here for us to be able to look back to in the future and also because I’m amazed at how much she’s better than me at painting LOL!

Person Crossing the Street

Her first painting which she calls, “Person Crossing the Street”

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